Open letter to Ahmed al-Sharaa, President of Syria, info@pministry.gov.sy
<br>
and Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel, fa-dpt@knesset.gov.il
<br>
From: Paul Edwards, Chairman of
<A HREF="http://www.liberatorswithoutborders.org">Liberators Without Borders</A>
<br>
Date: 2025-02-25
<br>

<P>
Dear Mr al-Sharaa and Mr Netanyahu.
</P>

<P>
I was upset today to read
<A HREF="https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cvgenz02lp8o">this</A>
aggressive language from Israel against Syria. Making "demands".
</P>

<P>
Bibi, I'm hardly known around town as "Mr Diplomacy", but
haven't you read "How to Win Friends and Influence People"?
I'm pretty sure it doesn't say anything about being a complete
and utter jackass to someone who never did a damned thing to you.
</P>

<P>
The new Syrian government led by al-Sharaa hasn't done a
DAMNED THING WRONG as far as I am aware. No aggression.
Nothing.
</P>

<P>
I don't know who your mother is, but she seems to have done a
pretty piss-poor job of raising you if your first instinct is
to attack someone. How about instead - "Israel looks forward
to cooperating with the new Syrian government in the hope that
we can be friends and maybe even ALLIES in the future"?
</P>

<P>
Mr al-Sharaa - first of all I would like to applaud you for
distancing yourself from Al Qaeda. They always were a bunch
of dingbats - to put it mildly. Liberators Without Borders
stands ready to assist you to the best of our ability.
Please let us know if there is anything you would like our
organization to do.
</P>

<P>
And before you say "carpet bomb Israel to teach them some
manners", well, first of all, that is technically an
exercise of freedom of speech. And secondly - I don't
remember reading that as a suggested solution for any
situation, and a quick search for "bomb the crap out of
the assholes" at
<A HREF="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People">
the Wikipedia page</A> didn't get any hits, just in case
I had forgotten some reference. I think the book is due
to come out of copyright soon - let me
<A HREF="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dale_Carnegie">see</A>.
Croaked in 1955. Add 70 gives 2025. ie it is presumably out
of copyright on 2026-01-01. I presume the only thing that was
stopping Assad, and now Bibi, and assholes around the world
in general, from being decent people is that they were too
cheap (Jews, right?) to purchase the book, and yet too
law-abiding to illegally download it over the internet for free.
</P>

<P>
Hopefully all the world's problems will be solved on 2026-01-01
when people start reading "How to Win Friends and Influence
People" and acting upon that, instead of being wall-to-wall
jackasses. I can't wait for that glorious day! Until then, it
seems to me like al-Sharaa doesn't really need the book, now
that he's gotten over that whole "let's kill all the infidels"
craze that was going on in the 1990s or whatever. But Bibi
clearly needs it. So here you go Bibi. An offer to you (that
expires on 2026-01-01). I will buy a copy of "How to Win
Friends and Influence People" from Dymocks or whatever in
Sydney, and mail it to you, so that you don't need to wait
another 9 months to learn how to not be a fuckwit or find
someone to adopt you. Oh - I just realized - I hope that's
not one of those sensitive topics involving hydrogen cyanide.
If it is - profuse apologies - and sorry you were raised an
orphan by the Nazis so that's why you never got to learn
good manners.
</P>

<P>
Oh, and Bibi, can you please get your staff to fix your email
address
<A HREF="https://main.knesset.gov.il/en/about/pages/directory.aspx">here</A>?
That capital letter really bugs me. It suggests that the email
address is case-sensitive, which I doubt it is.
</P>