Dear Dictator.
How's it hanging?
I'd like to put aside for the moment that you're a cruel dictator that oppresses the decent people of China (still an unknown percentage), and focus on more important issues than the human rights of your Chinese slaves.
I'm trying to create an anti-American alliance to recapture Greenland after it falls to the American Nazis, and I was hoping to enlist your help. In the same way that we allied with the sick and twisted Soviet communists during WW2, I'm happy to ally with your sick and twisted dictatorship too.
Because I don't want to have a two-front war, I'm going to ignore your aggression in the South China Sea and - for now - just accept the loss of sovereign Philippines territory. If Duterte hadn't spent his entire presidency giving you blow-jobs, while proving how "tough" he was with peaceful democracies like Canada, maybe we would have been able to prevent this situation. But it is what it is. South China Sea lost by Duterte to the evil Chinese regime. At least for now. We'll deal with you spotty herberts later.
So how about it, Xi? you and me against the world, mate, eh, all right? . Please email me ASAP and we'll hammer out the details. Thanks!
P.S. I loved that alpha move where you had Hu Jintao dragged out. What a lightweight beta dipshit he was, eh? He had control of the Chinese dictatorship and didn't even bother to use the opportunity to protect himself, by instituting democracy and human rights so that alpha predators like yourself couldn't eat him for breakfast. Touche!
P.P.S. I hope this doesn't end with But must insist E. Blackadder be projectionist.